Football, things and stuff


Just kidding. Football and I are not a thing. Here is the history of our relationship.

One time a person tried to explain football and I nodded my head. This other time a group of guys let me join in a game. It did not end well. In high school I dated a guy who played football. I learned nothing. One time I discussed why football was actually soccer at a bar with a drunk Englishman. When my neighbor puts out a large Giants flag on his garage I cheer in my head… because I’m a relocated New Yorker. I JUST found out that their stadium is in New Jersey.


Last year, friends invited me to watch the Superbowl. I can’t remember the commercials now, but that’s what we talked about. I hear the six million dollar commercials get better every year (or worse, depending who you ask). Yay, America.


I was told earlier that the Superbowl is an American holiday. My Russian parents even asked about our plans. Grandma called to let us know not to drive today because: traffic. When we go to our friend’s place tonight, I’m going to enjoy the food and not pretend I watch football. I know I can’t be the only one. Am I the only one?

Someone tell me why the Superbowl is a big deal.


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