Apparently British people call their mothers at least once a week in the evening, according to a recent study cited by the Guardian. I found this article via Jezebel, and they asked whether this applies to the rest of us. I don’t know how legit this study is, so I’m going to put on my lab coat and break it down.
You can look at how often I called my parents in two different life stages. The first, when I lived at home and called my parents to let them know I wasn’t dead while out in the world. Pretty simple. They asked me to check in and I tried most of the time (I’ll pay to cover those grey hairs, guys!). The second stage is after I got married.
Though I’m close with my own parents, I never had the habit of calling them up a certain number of times a week. Obviously it’s because I lived with them. Now, we live less than an hour from both sets of parents and make sure to see them at least once a week. Given that, I tend to feel that phone calls should be reserved for something urgent. A lot of things can happen over the course of the week, but aside from emergencies or random, super-awesome events, it’s not usually anything to call home about (literally).
I still talk to my parents and in-laws over the phone. Despite all of my logic and reasoning, it’s nice to know that they’re thinking about me when I get a call. I’m sure they feel the same.
I don’t know if my relationships are outside of the norm. People seem to be surprised when I mention how often I see my parents, so I tend to think that they are. I guess if you see something as an obligation or a disruption of your day then you’re going to resist doing it. And even if you have a great relationship with someone, sometimes you just want to make your own plans.
I’m an adult with my own life and my own home. It’s easy to get wrapped up in that. It’s accepted that children grow up to be independent from their parents. What I’ve learned over the past few years that there’s a fine balance at play. To find it means holding on to good relationships with the people who love you.
To everyone who’s raising an eyebrow right now: Yes, sometimes I just want to stay home or not answer my phone. But then I remember something about these people who raised me. They’re people. Human. And they’ve had to put up with me for more than 20 years, and they love me whether I’m in a good or bad mood. Through everything they still love me and want to be around me. I don’t know about you but that beats the track record of basically everyone else I know in the world.
What do you think?
I want to know what other people feel about this. Let me know how often you call or visit your parents, or what they would expect from you (if you still live at home).
If calling your parents sometimes slips your mind, HERE is a handy tool that will remind you to call every Sunday morning.